I hate to say it, but I don’t think I’d be able to continue blogging for very long if we were to settle down. Without that twinge of uniqueness that I get from our every day life while out traveling—even when a day consists of nothing more than going to the grocery store—I just don’t think I could continue mustering up the energy to put it all into words and pics. Maybe I could—but I doubt it.
I feel like the longer we go on traveling and living abroad the more it becomes our life and the less chance we have of ever returning to normal. The minute I cross the border back into the States I feel like life is mundane. Literally the very minute. Like, as I handed my passport to the border agent I was thinking, “Dude, you’re going to do this for the next thirty years? Aren’t you bored?” And I fully realize what an asshole I sound like saying that, but man, I just can’t help it any more.
We visit the States now and I just don’t feel like I belong in it. I can visit family, repair garage doors, clean gutters, order a bunch of stuff from Amazon, shop at the mall, and a thousand other things All-American, but I feel like I am just stealing the whole time. Like I’m having a one-night-stand. Slam, bam, thank-you ma’am, I’m going to sneak out the door and head back to Mexico with your underwear. And then I’m going to take all that stuff I bought and put it on my boat and run off to Guatemala, and Nicaragua, and wherever the hell I feel like, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
The worst thing is that Ali is much the same way. She can still get excited over the prospect of a little American shopping, and she loves her family as much as anyone, but after a week or so Stateside she’s jonesing nearly as badly as me. She comes across the border with a list in hand, checks the items off, and turns right around without regret. Her own one-night-stand complete.
I think these feelings may fluctuate along a series of bell curves. Up and down over the years, and that eventually an urge will strike, “Let’s go back.” On the other hand maybe it won’t.
Ouest had to move quickly or she wouldn’t get any cheese on that pizza.
She loved painting the garage with me. There is nothing better than sharing moments like these. She is such a sponge right now and just wants to be a part of everything. Which can be maddening at times, especially when it comes to conversations between Ali and me—as she just can’t help but interrupt. “What you two talking about? What you two talking about? What you two talking about?”
Tonight she killed me though. I was putting her to bed. We’d finished reading, the lights were off, and I was singing Twinkle, twinkle to her. The ritual. Then, “Papa?”
“Yeah baby?”
“I love you.”
The spontaneous hug, kiss, or I love you, is really the best part of being a parent.
I’ve never seen a dog more patient with kids than this one.
23 Comments on “States”
Someone said that “Home is were the heart is”.
After 5 years as expat in US, we can not spend more than 2 weeks with family back in the home country. No language and culture barriers no distance from family yet, we just can not handle it. We miss our home 10000 miles away from there.
I just hope that when we go sailing my family get the same “bug bite” of yours.
Cheers,
Ricardo
I hope you never do get to the point of “it’s time to go back”. The entire world is our oyster to explore and you’ve figured out how! You’ve given your self and your family an incredible gift most people can’t even imagine or get beyond dreaming about.
“the less chance we have of ever returning to normal” – Why not not just call your life “normal” for you! I so look forward to your blog – a family doing something that takes so much courage to live on the edge. To avoid the Joneses mentality – locked into a job to pay the growing bills to in a house way bigger than one needs just to amass a huge collection of unmanageable clutter because you have to have the latest and greatest of everything… If I could get a do-over I would try to do it the way you two have. I know the grass always seems greener on the other side but your life really seems like a dream. 🙂
I think the life you guys are living is what should be normal. The world is out-a-wack, we should all be living with less, spending time with and taking time to enjoy our family, teaching our kids skills that can benefit them later on in life and appreciating what we have with little to no money spent. You’re doing it right, don’t apologize or feel bad. We’re all envious and look forward to your blog as inspiration as to how to get out of this rat race. Home is where the things that are most important to you are, be it in the Mexico or on a boat or just in your heart.
Strange you would feel that way only about an American doing a dull job. Don’t you pity these Mexicans who slave away for their whole lives, earning next to nothing?
And it’s amusing that Ouest is painting with you. Half the time when I see your pics from Mexico, with those beat-up beach towns and peeling walls, I think “so, do they sell paint in Mexico?”
I know exactly what you’re saying, though comparing a Mexican dull job to an American dull job isn’t exactly apples to apples. Let’s face it, as Americans we have unlimited potential and virtually unlimited choices (I say this as a white kid from the ‘burbs, and know I’m not speaking for all Americans). Mexicans, the vast majority as far as I can tell, do not have and never will have the same opportunities and choices that we do.
Hey, that’s one of those “fake” dogs! ; )
I hear you and understand exactly what you are saying. We have been back in the US for 8 yrs. now and are just getting ready to make our break once again. Sometimes we question the timing, but I have to say that reading this post is a little reminder, after 8 yrs. it is easy to forget what we left behind. Thanks.
This reminded me of a quote:
“And so I stand among you as one that offers a small message of hope, that first, there are always people who dare to seek on the margin of society, who are not dependent on social acceptance, not dependent on social routine, and prefer a kind of free-floating existence.” – Thomas, The Asian Journal of Thomas Merton
I found that in Rolf Potts, Vagabonding. That quote is something I strive for for my future and something that you’re living and it is so amazing to see people like you and your family who are actually doing that. Actually living.
Your travels may have become a bit tamer because of your kids. Luckily, though, your writing quality and insights are improving at a fast pace…maybe also because of your kids.
Either way, you’re still miles ahead of the pack and probably pissing a lot of people off simply because, hey, now with kids and all, you just squashed their excuse for “continuing to stamp passports for the next 30 years.” But anyone who is pissed off should realize that “living like Pat and Ali” is a calling – most people would hate it, really, really despise it and fall to pieces out of boredom with themselves.
It’s hard for me to imagine living in the States again. We did it for 6 years after living abroad for 10 and they were the 6 unhealthiest years of our lives. After we sailed out of New York last year, it seemed like we just kept topping each adventure with something bigger. I feel like once you’ve made adventure a routine, it’s impossible to go back to a life lacking adventure. And, let’s face it, there is no adventure to be had in a U.S. suburban strip mall town full of overweight Walmart shoppers who keep shifting the things they buy into storage units because they’re drowning in the crap they own.
“I regret traveling.” Said NO ONE. EVER.
On one hand I agree with you, that is until you had children. Children need a stable home and a sense of security and family. I think that its selfish of you two until you raise your children, then go wander of to wherever, just something to think about. They need a constant, friends to grow up with and the same school every year. just think of all the friends you guys will have forever from school.
Do you hear yourself? Why are you reading this blog? I think exactly the opposite is true. The Schulte’s will be giving their children a head start on their own life’s adventures. They seam to be pretty happy to me.
“Children need a stable home and a sense of security and family.” Melissa, isn’t that exactly what these kids have? That stable home, sense of security and family you speak of doesn’t come from a location. It comes from the people that raise their children. And there are many people on land who fail to provide that.
Are you saying it would be better for the children to have mom and dad give up what makes them who they are and chain themselves miserably to a strip-mall town with a good school “for their children”? Happy, fulfilled parents raise happy, fulfilled children. And they do it all over the world, in many different languages. Just because children and their parents live on water doesn’t mean they aren’t grounded.
Melissa, I understand what you’re saying but don’t think I really believe that. Our children know they are loved and taken care of—I’ve no doubt about that. I gather from “sense of family” that you mean extended family. Well, if we’d stayed put in Chicago I doubt that we’d have seen the extended family any more than we do already. Our kids spend months a year living with both us and their grandparents—both in Mexico and the States.
And you know, it’s funny, when we left to travel we pretty much left behind all of our old friends. Within a few years we didn’t relate to any of them any longer. Our school friends all lead vastly different lives than us. Our very best friends now all come from a community of travelers, not from a public school.
Thank you though for chiming in with a different point of view. We truly do appreciate that.
oh, boy….honestly, thats one of the reasons I read this blog, my folks moved into rentals in the winter till the sun came out, then proceeded to fallow the construction (road) and camp out all summer long till the snow fell in some instances. no more then 6 months in any one school. Most of the time it was a one to two month stay in the winter/school months… 57 moves later, I’m 18…. no social skills at all, dropped out of school at the 8th grade, GED.. (funny thing is, they said it was because I didn’t “apply” myself? go figure). Ya, they called it “adventure” Me on the other hand? it was more nightmare. Yes, we did have good times in there, but my childhood was, shall we say, interesting. Needless to say, I don’t like moving, camping these days:-)
Well I don’t think we’d ever be that extreme about throwing the kids in and out of schools. That doesn’t sound like much fun. And really, I’m not trying to make any predictions of our future. The kids are still a couple of years out from school, and we’ve got time to make decisions. We’ll see. At least now we’ll always be able to say to each other, “Christ, we better reign it in, look what happened to Jeff.” 🙂
I would like to say bravo to you and your family. I was a ‘transient’ growing up, in that my dad was in the USAF. I moved to Japan when I was 5 (and I was a GOD, in that I had blonde hair and blue eyes…as a matter of fact, Lowe appears to be my kid self doppelganger.) Then moved to Belgium at 10 for three years and then to Germany for four years, (Bleh…I literally looked like every other boy in the country.) What this did for me was make me social to EVERYONE. I no longer saw race, age, social standing….etc. The down side to this, even though I was American born….I do find it hard to fit into the ‘American’ society. BUT…I fit better into the WORLD. Reading your blog (and others like it) helps me get back out into the world virtually….until the time comes that I can do it physically. So THANK YOU for what you do!
Thanks for the comment. I like that part about fitting better into the world, as opposed to fitting only into American society.
Not all people living in the USA are trapped in the strip-mall culture! I, for one, did lots of adventurous things till my son was 5, then i caved and he went to a few diff public schools but he never graduated H.S. due to the school system’s failure to engage him. Now he is a successful musician and home remodeler, married, happy, and getting into what I am, growing food. Horticulture is an endless adventure! And I have even expanded my growing efforts to the management of two community gardens where over 50 families grow fresh healthy food. I do recommend alternatives to the public school system though.
I agree that one of the problems people like me have is that we tend to generalize greatly. Obviously America isn’t all strip-malls and self-obsessed phone-addicts, but we start to lock in on that and can’t seem to shake it—especially because it isn’t what we want for ourselves or our children. Thanks for the reminder.
And Arlie, I’d like to congratulate you on writing a sentence that has never been written before anywhere: “Horticulture is an endless adventure!” 🙂
I agree. We live in the U.S. with two kids 5 & 7 and have never been to a strip mall and have no intention of buying a TV or a cell phone. We too criticize the “Walmart crowd” with their 90″ TV screens so they can watch American Idol, keep up with the Kardashians, and buy the latest app for their cell phone. No thanks – we don’t want that crap, nor do we want to teach our kids to want that crap. By the way, the last picture with Lowe and Ali is priceless – you are a lucky dude Mr. Pat.
I freakin’ love the photo of the teater toters with the tires in the ground to deaden the impact of them hitting the ground. I lived in Portland for three years and it’s sights like that that make me miss it some times.