02-Mar-2010 3:00 PM
We decided maybe it’s time to stop taking this whole Mexican thing to such extremes. Today I installed the car seat in the Porsche. Here in Mexico it would be more acceptable to let her hang her head out the window like a dog than to strap her into a car seat. Though I shouldn’t single out Mexico; this is true for every country from here on south. Car seats? Please. How in the heck is the baby supposed to crawl free from the car accident? Answer me that one.

03-Mar-2010 8:03 AM
The poor man’s window tint is installed and the Porsche’s miniature backseat is officially open for business. Ouest, it’s all yours. Hope you enjoy it.

03-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
It has been one week since Ouest’s last laser treatment. Her nose is still healing up. The hemangioma looks okay but doesn’t seem to be shrinking much. Looks to us like the treatments have essentially enabled it to remain unchanged, not growing and not going away. We’re torn on how we feel about that. Is “not getting worse” good enough or do we need to try and do something more to help this thing go away? We haven’t decided just yet.

03-Mar-2010 9:29 AM
Our Coconut woke up full of smiles again this morning. Those few moments of pure silly joy are making all of our lives much more enjoyable lately.

03-Mar-2010 5:24 PM
Our good friends Paul and Heather are in town with their boys, so today we walked down the beach to their hotel and spent the afternoon hanging out poolside drinking beer and swimming with infants. That’s how we roll now.

We ate guacamole and talked to old ladies about Ouest until the sunburn started on our shoulders and then carted our little girl back across the sand home again. Eleven a.m. to four p.m.; our social life has most certainly changed.

04-Mar-2010 3:03 PM
Ouest has been having a tough day today. If she isn’t happy then she’s incredibly unhappy. There is no in between. Ali and I are really starting to wonder how this is going to work when we’re in the car miles from anywhere.

04-Mar-2010 7:36 PM
Our landlady just came over and finished checking us out of the apartment. She went through her list of things that should be here, including granite counter tops and stainless steel faucets. Fortunately they were all accounted for.

The amazing part of the checkout procedure came when she brought out the envelope with our deposit of two months worth of rent. Roughly fourteen-hundred dollars and it was the same cash in the same envelope that we’d given her six months ago. For six months they had our deposit sitting in a drawer instead of in a bank earning something just north of zero percent. Somebody needs to give her just a teeny tiny brief lesson in finance.

So not exactly the brightest business woman, but she is really sweet. She told us we were very good tenants, and then said, “God bless you, God bless your car, and God bless the roads.” She only left out, “God bless your screaming baby in the backseat.”

05-Mar-2010 10:08 PM
And today started out so well. What happened? The car was loaded up and Ouest was chilling happily in her car seat just before the sun came up this morning. We hit the road and everything was great. I was thinking to myself throughout the morning just how much I love road tripping. I honestly think I could drive every day. We both love the sights, the sounds, and especially the gas station’s fully loaded Mexican hot dogs.

And Ouest seemed to like it too. We pulled off the road every hour or so to get her out for a stretch, a diaper change and a feeding. She grinned and slept her way right through the first few hours. The winding mountain roads and the hum of the Porsche’s 1600cc engine is conducive to both of those things.

We made it to Mazatlán in good time. The problem with Mazatlán is that the highway is a good half an hour inland from the beach and the hotels. We didn’t want to make the drive in. We stopped for gas along the highway and weighed our choices. The next town, Culiacán, was 120 miles away. I figured two and a half hours, which would still put us in pretty early. Then we noticed a sparkling clean motel right next door to the gas station. We should have taken that as a sign to stop for the day, but instead we both decided to keep going. Ouest had been perfect up to this point.

Back on the toll road we cruised. For about forty miles. Then orange cones and a cop blocked the highway pointing us towards an exit in the middle of nowhere. We got off, watched all the other cars scatter into the wind, and then promptly got lost ourselves. We eventually found our way to the free road to Culiacán and continued on. Along with a few hundred trucks. Going was painfully slow. And Ouest was growing more and more restless by the minute. She was crying, Ali was upset, and I was pissed at myself for not anticipating something like the toll road being completely shut down. This is Mexico after all. And Ali and I are not new to this.

Nearly six hours after leaving Mazatlán, we completed the 120 miles and limped into Culiacán. It was horrible. We had ruined a perfectly good day. We pulled into the first grossly overpriced hotel we saw and sprinted for the room. Within seconds our very forgiving baby was lying on the bed cooing as if nothing had happened. And then she was asleep.

06-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
Mornings are the best. Here we’re pretty sure Ouest said, “Where’s the lady with breakfast?” Either that or, “Why the hell do I always have socks on my hands?” Not sure exactly which.

06-Mar-2010 5:28 PM
Having learned our lesson yesterday we had a much better run today. Ouest is at her prime in the mornings, so we were off early again and headed up the road. The highway was open, weekend traffic was light, and the skies were overcast. Perfect conditions for us. In fact one of the toughest things we’ve had to deal with has been keeping the sun off of Ouest. The Porsche just provides no shade. So this morning when her cheeks were still rosy we realized we’d have to try a little harder. God knows only horrible parents allow their baby to get sunburned.

Not much happened today. Ouest did great again with only a couple of scattered cries. She seems to be taking to the road pretty well. Which is a good thing for her, what with the parents she’s got.

Rolled into Ciudad Obregón in the early afternoon and got ourselves settled into a motel room. When I say settled now I really do mean settled. Traveling with a baby is not traveling light.

08-Mar-2010 our life. daily.

07-Mar-2010 7:20 PM
Man did it rain today. And temps in the forties on the Mexican border? What the hell. We do not have enough warm clothes for this sort of nonsense. Well Ouest does, we don’t. It was so ugly out today that we spent the vast majority of it inside the car. Ouest got fed and burped in the front seat, and she even had her diaper changed in my lap, and she couldn’t have cared less.

We hit the border crossing earlier than we expected, which was a good thing considering the backup. It took us nearly two hours to inch forward to the front of the line for our thirty-second interview with the border agent. During that two hours the rain intensified and we eventually had to rearrange the luggage, getting the big bag off the luggage rack and into the backseat. This landed Ouest on our laps as we waited in line. When we finally hit the border agent we were just waiting to be told that she couldn’t sit on Ali’s lap, but he let it go and waved us through. Two minutes later we were in the hotel parking lot. A very wet but successful day.

08-Mar-2010 8:29 PM
We cruised through Arizona and into New Mexico today. We love this state. This is our kind of scenery. Desert, mountains, and unbelievably clear skies. Unfortunately we spent the whole day chasing after yesterday’s storm. In and out of the rain we went, and when the skies cleared it was so cold and windy that once again Ouest didn’t get to spend a lot of time outside the confines of the Porsche. She’s a trooper though and continues to show us that she’s got a bit of that travelers gene in her.

08-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
Pick-up trucks, Wrangler jeans, and killer mutts. That’s Truth or Consequences, New Mexico in a nutshell. While we were in Walmart buying diapers and baby wipes the intercom was asking for assistance in the Ammunition department. I think we all know who was buying more shotgun shells.

09-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
Honest, we’ve tried to be good American parents, but occasionally Ouest’s Mexican side rubs off on us and she spends a quality hour napping in Mama’s arms. Looks cozy back there doesn’t it?

10-Mar-2010 7:09 PM
It’s never too early for Ouest to be staying in a stranger’s home. That’s what we think. So yesterday, after a lot of miles, we pulled into Amarillo, Texas to spend the night with a couple of Bum friends. A nice couple who call California home, but live in Amarillo, and have a boat growing grass on the Chesapeake.

Ouest wasn’t very social. She got there, ate, and crawled in bed. Ali and I were then left to drink the beer and the wine and pray that Ouest would sleep until the wee hours of the morning. This life on the road is not easy.

Today we were back at it with under a thousand miles to go until we hit Minnesota again. We actually thought we’d be staying with more friends tonight, but I think our total reliance on e-mail and our lack of a cell phone put the kaibosh on that.

So now we’re holed up as the only guests in a brand spanking new Holiday Inn Express. Ali’s favorite hotel chain. Two nights ago we pulled into town and I drove straight to the rather run down looking Motel 6. I went inside, asked to see a room, decided it looked just fine for the money, paid the man, and brought Ali and Ouest in. Ali took one look around the room and said, “This is disgusting. I’m sorry, but we can not stay in places like this any more. I’m past that stage in my life.” I guess girls grow up faster than boys. Oh well, at least here I get free sausage and biscuits in the morning.

10-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
Macca’s has quickly become our best friend on the road. And not even for the fattening food, but instead because it’s clean, has baby changing facilities, and the employees don’t care one bit if we sit there for an hour feeding our baby while enjoying unlimited fountain drinks for a buck. Thank you Ray Kroc.

11-Mar-2010 5:34 PM
The Bible Belt. If you’ve never been through it I highly recommend it. By golly if you don’t love God then these folks will make damn sure you fear him. It seems every other barn between the Texas border and Missouri has hand-painted signs letting me know about the hell I am headed for. I’ve also seen the northern hemisphere’s largest cross in Texas, and if true, then what must be the runner-up in Oklahoma. And don’t forget the marketing magic of the church and the Interstate billboards. A few hundred miles of this and I feel as if I’ve been baptized and taken communion.

Today was just more ugly weather and more highway miles. We’re plugging along and doing pretty well. In fact we should be at Ali’s parents by this time tomorrow. We’ll have missed our doctor’s appointment, but will be primed for more nasal hemangioma fun come Monday. Actually her nose is looking really good. The dark red is virtually gone, leaving just the light purplish raised area to contend with. Ali and I are now hopeful that we’ll start to see some really good progress after the next laser treatment. We’ll feel a lot better if we can get that lump to go down a bit and get the tip of her nose back in the shape it was meant to be.

11-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
Just like a funhouse mirror. Ouest has become much, much more animated in just the past week or so. Sometimes with unintended hilarious results. Hilarious to Ali and I anyway.

12-Mar-2010 6:55 AM
Ali was up in the middle of the night rocking a pillow in her arms. She’s officially gone nuts. Actually we both do these sorts of crazy things all the time now. We wake up and frantically search the bed looking for Ouest before one of us finally realizes she’s in her own bed. Or we swear she’s crying but when we look in on her she’s sound asleep. This rocking the pillow thing is an all-time winner though.

12-Mar-2010 7:59 PM
Three thousand miles behind us we rolled into St. Paul this afternoon. Ouest slept something like five out of the six hours on the road today. She apparently was even more uninterested in the Iowa scenery than I was.

Family was amazed when they saw how much Ouest has changed in just the past two weeks. She really has developed a lot in a very short time and become so much fun. She no longer has any periods of being unconsolable, she smiles all the time, and she is growing like a weed. Being a parent has suddenly become much more enjoyable.

12-Mar-2010 9:37 PM
A Bum friend is writing a series of articles on our VW trip for the French magazine Gazoline. We scored the cover shot with the first installment. Sweet.

12-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
And this isn’t all of it. I forgot the two pillows on the floor of the front seat and Ali had already carried the diaper bag inside. Under the bonnet alone is a beach chair, a dozen books, oil, two beach towels, a dismantled bouncy chair, a spare tire, flip-flops, the car battery, a blow dryer, a bag of tools, two cans of formula, and probably a half dozen other things. Man are we good packers.

13-Mar-2010 ouest lill. three months.
Three months old! This is indeed a milestone. We started the month off on sort of a rough note with you healing up from your first laser treatment and your colic still in full bloom. Now, one month later, you are healing up from your second laser treatment and your colic is virtually nonexistent. And oh my what a glorious change that has been for the three of us.

This month also marked the beginning of your life as a road warrior. An eight day, three-thousand mile road trip would be a big one by anybody’s standards, but for a baby girl it’s epic. You handled it like a champ. Though your mama does deserve a whole lot of credit for keeping you cool during those long hauls across the Plains while I scanned the horizon desperately for signs of the golden arches.

The weather was terrible, the scenery mostly monotonous, and the hours long, but we still had a good time together. You took a few meals in the backseat, changed a few diapers on the front seat, and slept more naps than we should admit to on mama’s lap. I promise we’ll head out on a more relaxing road trip soon. In fact, you better brace yourself, because that’s most likely what month four has in store for you.

14-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
Sunday family breakfast at the parent’s house. Chocolate chip pancakes, pork sausages, hashbrowns, and turkey bacon?

15-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
Smiles are getting easier and easier to come by.

16-Mar-2010 1:38 PM
Ali and I have been thinking a lot lately about where we are headed. What we want to do now. We’re fortunate in that we are in a position to bounce around the types of ideas that we do, which sometimes makes it all the more tough to come to a decision.

We thought we were relatively set on a bit of a U.S./Mexico road trip adventure with Ouest in a vintage Airstream. I’d found a tow vehicle online while we were in Mexico this last time and figured when we returned to Minnesota we’d go buy it and then head off to buy the Airstream; also found online. But the day we returned to Minnesota we found the vehicle had been sold. It was a vintage truck and we were actually very surprised to find that anybody else would be in the market for something like that at this time of year. Or really any time of year for that matter. So I started the search over and found something even more suited to our needs. Good towing platform in a classic package that would look awesome with an Airstream behind it. This one was on eBay but was located just over in Wisconsin. I went to bed figuring when we got up in the morning I’d talk to Ali and then go online and offer their Buy it Now price. Well in the morning it was sold.

Two vintage SUVs sold right before our eyes? In March in the Midwest? Even those of us who don’t put much stock in fate have to take another look at things when this stuff happens. So we stepped back and started over. What do we want to do? What sort of early life are we looking for for our daughter? What will make us happy?

The answer to those questions has led us back to looking at boats. And not necessarily boats without sails anymore. Nothing is written in stone, and we may very well not find the boat we are looking for. We may change our minds yet again. Maybe we’ll end up owning a pig farm in Nebraska. Or living in a yurt in the woods of the Pacific Northwest. Or maybe our families may read this, throw us out of their houses, and kidnap Ouest. Who knows? At this moment we are simply taking a step back, trying to think clearly, and evaluating all of our options. And really for the first time we’re doing these things as a family of three.

16-Mar-2010 our life. daily.

17-Mar-2010 3:18 PM
Just got back from the St. Paul St. Patrick’s Day parade. We took our niece and nephew and headed downtown for the festivities. Ali and I had never been to this parade before and for some reason were expecting a bigger crowd. We drove down about two hours before the parade to be on the safe side, but when we got there we found the streets deserted. You’d have never known that there would soon be a parade coming through.

We strolled around St. Paul a bit. It really is a nice little city. Very walkable, especially on a gorgeous day like today. Stopped off for hot chocolates and hot dogs and before we knew it Fourth Street was crowded with people.

The parade itself was sort of funny. There were a couple of nice bagpipe marching bands and Irish dancing school troupes, but for the most part the parade consisted of drunks in jeans and green t-shirts carrying signs that appeared to have been made an hour earlier at O’Hara’s pub bearing the name of their clan, the O’thisorthats. But what they lacked in entertainment value they made up for in candy and bead throwing. Ouest had a rough time as soon as people started blaring horns in her ear. The loud noises scared her into a screaming frenzy. To calm her we slipped her into the sling and within seconds she was asleep. The rest of the parade went off without a hitch. Good family fun was had by one and all.

17-Mar-2010 6:47 PM
Conversation with a nine and twelve-year-old after the parade.

Me: “You know I’m half Irish.”
Twelve: “No you’re not.” (They have learned not to believe much of what comes out of my mouth.)
Me: “Seriously, I am. Half Scot, half Irish.”
Nine: “You’re too tall.”
Me: “Too tall?”
Nine: “Irish people are short.”
Me: “You mean because of the leprechauns?”
Nine: “Yeah, leprechauns are Irish and they’re really short.”
Twelve: “Plus, you don’t even have red hair.”
Me: “All right, you got me, I can’t defend myself against such logic.”

17-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
A Bum friend knit this sweater for Ouest and we all love it. Today it became her St. Patrick’s Day outfit as well as the only article of clothing in our family that gets hand washed.

18-Mar-2010 7:21 AM
Ouest has always been a good nighttime sleeper. It’s been our one reprieve. And recently it’s gotten even better. In fact last night she went to bed at six, didn’t wake until two a.m., ate a quick meal, and went right back to sleep until seven o’clock when she woke with a big smile on her face. Show me a parent that wouldn’t love that.

18-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
Sometimes she just needs to cry.

19-Mar-2010 9:26 PM
We saw the doctor today. He was very happy with Ouest’s nose and is still confident we’re on the right track. Essentially it comes down to the fact that the hemangioma is still in its proliferation phase, meaning that we are fighting it off with the laser treatments. It grows, we zap it, it heals up and then begins to grow again. Until the proliferation phase is over with we can’t really expect it to be completely healed. The problem with that is that this phase could last anywhere up to about a year of age. Meaning we’ve still got a long way to go before this is truly behind us. So for now all we can really do is to keep doing what we’ve been doing.

20-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
Twenty degrees and sunny. That’s fahrenheit, and that’s Wisconsin.

21-Mar-2010 9:06 PM
We spent the weekend out at the cabin. Me and the kids tried to do the Diet Coke/Mentos experiment. If you’re not familiar with it just type that into YouTube and watch a few videos. Unfortunately I didn’t do my homework and our experiment was sort of a bust. Except for the part where Curt popped a couple Mentos in his mouth and then took a swig of Diet Coke out of the bottle. The resulting explosion sent Coke flying out of both nose and mouth. The rest of our weekend was spent trying to get the dogs to quit sniffing Ouest as if she was a piece of bacon, playing Sorry, and hauling furniture around.

22-Mar-2010 3:27 PM
Ouest went to the doctor today for a pre-op. It’s a big waste of time and money considering her “surgery” doesn’t require anesthesia. But what are you going to do? The doctor left us sitting in the examining room for 45 minutes today during which time Ouest went from happy, to screaming, to sound asleep. The doc eventually strode in, woke her up, looked at her for two minutes, and left. Waste.

Critical stats this week included: 13.5 pounds, 24.75 inches long, and a head size of 15.7 inches. She’s got my lanky frame, but not my big head. Lucky girl.

22-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
“It’s hard to believe she was in my belly just three months ago.”

23-Mar-2010 7:43 PM
The past few days have been frustrating for us. We’ve been expecting all along to go in and get Ouest another laser treatment. That is what we rushed home from Puerto Vallarta for. Unfortunately now it turns out that a combination of miscommunication with the doctor and the hospital not having the laser machine available means that she won’t be going in until next week sometime. All that racing back to Minnesota was for nothing. And that two weeks more we had paid for on our apartment in warm weather, that was for nothing too. We always, and I mean always, hate to be at the mercy of anybody else to get things done for us.

23-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
We finally caved in this afternoon and bought a stroller. It’s truly a monstrosity and is most certainly the most embarrassing, to me, thing that we own. Even folded up it just barely fit in the backseat of the Porsche. Meaning it will never leave grandma’s house. But there were only two strollers left at the Once Upon A Child used baby store, and the other one was for twins. Although even that was smaller than this one. Maybe I should have just hacksawed off the front seat of that one. Anyway, twenty-five bucks lighter we now own one more thing that Ouest hates to be set down in. (Update: the stroller was resold to the used baby store two weeks later.)

23-Mar-2010 11:27 AM
Spare time has become a precious commodity and spending it on cutting hair just hasn’t made the short list. So it comes as no surprise that when Ali finally got after my locks with the scissors today she took them right down to the scalp. Next haircut will probably be around Ouest’s first birthday.

25-Mar-2010 8:04 PM
We love our family and friends and all that, but we’re really starting to wonder about their sanity. It’s the end of March, which means it has now been winter here for the last seventeen months, give or take a few weeks of summer somewhere in there. Once this business with Ouest is done I really have no intention of subjecting her to winter weather again. Sunny blue skies and eighteen degree wind chill have no business being in the same sentence. Nevertheless we’re here and are making the most of it. This weekend we have plans to go to our friend’s kids’ hockey game. The same kid, by the way, that has baseball tryouts in the morning. Only in Minnesota.

26-Mar-2010 10:56
This morning Ouest was taking a nap when I heard her start to cry. I went to her room, i.e. the walk-in closet, picked her up and started to rock her. Ali had been in another room at the time and heard Ouest a minute later. So she came into the room not knowing I was already in there, walked up to the closet door, and promptly let out a blood curdling scream. I hadn’t heard her coming and jumped about three feet into the air at the sound of this. That was the end of Ouest’s morning nap.

26-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
We’re not 100% sure, but the constant sloppy drooling and the fussing with the fist in the mouth leads us to believe there may be a first tooth on the way.

27-Mar-2010 8:30 PM
I don’t think I’m supposed to say this, but the first three months of a baby’s life aren’t much fun. Of course I love my daughter and cherished that time with her, and I did love holding her when she was just a tiny little thing, but overall that’s just not a good time. Speaking as a guy, and I’ve talked to a couple of my guy friends who’ve been through it as well, we all seem to be in agreement that for us the novelty of a newborn wears off fairly quickly. Cry, eat, burp, poop, change, sleep, repeat.

But now things are changing. She’s much more fun. And that’s what she’s here for right? To entertain me. Well, maybe not, but she is, more and more each day. And she literally changes each day. Now I find myself wondering if today will be the day where she breaks out laughing. She’s been awfully close lately. Apparently that duck toy of hers is absolutely hilarious. Or will today be the day that she stays sitting upright on her own? Or the day that first tooth breaks through? Or some other first that I never saw coming? Anyway, I don’t want it to sound like I have disliked fatherhood. That couldn’t be further from the truth. But it is true that I am enjoying it more now with every passing day. Plus, what could be better than seeing my two girls together like this?

28-Mar-2010 7:09 PM
We took Ouest out to a hockey game yesterday at Tartan High School arena. There they had team photos from throughout the school’s history as well as statistics and All-Conference winners. I got to relive my glory days a bit and make a big point of showing my name and picture to Ali and Ouest. Neither of them seemed the least bit impressed.

What was impressive was that we went out with our friends to a local pub afterwards and Ouest slept right through it in her car seat. Yep, it appears that twelve noon on Sundays will have to be our new time to eat bar food and drink tap beer.

28-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
This is how Ouest lays her hands across her stomach as she feeds. Awwwwww.

29-Mar-2010 8:07 AM
The other day our twelve-year-old niece whose last name ends in kowski said, “I can’t be Polish, I don’t even have an accent.”

29-Mar-2010 8:15 AM
Ouest rolled over during belly time today. Ali watched it happen and said it was a total accident. We couldn’t get her to repeat the roll a second time. However, we are still 99% certain that this indicates she will become an Olympian and excel far beyond her peers in all things athletic. I’m just saying.

29-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
Two pictures taken one second apart. There’s no telling when she’ll erupt.

30-Mar-2010 8:14 AM
The March issue of French auto magazine Gazoline is out with Part II of the Bumfuzzle series.

31-Mar-2010 our life. daily.
I knew this giant stroller thing was a bad idea. Halfway around the block today the screaming became too much. Ouest finished our walk in my arms. She really dislikes seats of any kind, which I’m pretty sure is going to become a problem here eventually.